Feta cheese. Is that all I've got? Is that really the only thing that makes me excited, satisfied, and validated? Is it possible for a salty, crumbly, smelly, hunk of dairy product to affect me more than any other pursuit of interest? I should certainly hope not...
...And yet, it does. I think, and I write this with utmost despair, that it is time for a bit of a change.
The problem I am now faced with is this: What to do with myself? I'm obviously not going to ignore my feelings for feta cheese, but I feel moving on is not only inevitable, but necessary. How can I, without betraying my feelings for feta, move on with my life and direct my passion towards a more fruitful, sensible, and accessable interest? Is it possible? Will I learn to live with out the constant cravings for some good Bulgarian lovin'(er, eating...they're very similar, you know), or will I distance myself from the cheese, but never really stop craving it, and thus starve?
These are truly times of uncertainty for me. As it is, I find the notion of anything replacing feta's high position in my ladder of appeal and desire slightly ridiculous. But then, all things can change. Maybe with time and a little direction, feta and I can, while maintaining a fairly close relationship, function apart.
I think it might get a bit lonely, really. I'll be lying awake at night, worrying, only I won't have a tasty companion to distract myself with. I'll have to resist my urges to slice off a hunk, close my eyes, and just devote myself entirely to the pleasure which feta brings. I'm going to become independant. I don't want to have to rely on something that I can't always have, or something that when thought about, triggers only salivation. No, I'm going to focus on something else. Something, perhaps, that actually matters. Maybe it will be Russian literature, or current events. I could become an activist or a devoted fan of something. I could be a writer, a painter, or a volunteer for a worthy cause! I could be passionate about something that has influence and bearing in this world! I could broaden my mind, help the less fortunate, stand up for what is right! For some people, these things are like feta. They think about them, dedicate time to them, and look forward to enjoying the benifits of these activites.
Maybe someday. Right now though, there's a little bit of feta in the fridge, and even if never again , it's got my name written all over it.
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6 comments:
Aly:
*sneezes*
One of the downsides of marrying that guy and living on another continent is that there may not be a lucrative place to get feta. Ah well, there are goats next store, and did I mention he's a cook? Maybe you should marry him.
You should definitely go the "devoted fan" route. You could be a Dostoevsky fangirl and write plotless, badly punctuated Brothers K slash! Doesn't that sound like fun?
Um, that was me, by the way.
According to my dad, what you had last night isn't the best Bulgarian feta that's locally available.
Where can I get the best???
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